Sneak Peek From Tom Goodlet’s Upcoming Book, Listen Like Jesus (Working Title)
Whenever I walk into a room to speak or onto a stage, the audience has to answer a question in their brain within two seconds of seeing me or hearing my name. It is the same question people have to answer in their brains when they see you and when you see them. It is the question of, “Do I like this person?” And our Limbic System in our brain will typically answer this question within two seconds before we can even open our mouths to help convince them one way or another. This is why first impressions matter. This is why room temperature, walk-up or background music, dress, style, deodorant, perfumes, colognes, posture, smiles, and other body language all matter. As the senses are receiving data, the Limbic System is deciding if the brain likes the data it is receiving.
Why does how we feel about something or someone matter so much to our brains? Well, let’s start with the fact that our brains are the organs within our bodies that consume the most calories. It is why you can work at a desk all day and go home exhausted. You may say to yourself, “I never left my desk. I never lifted anything heavy. I never ran a lap. So, then, why am I so tired?” It is because your brain burns a ton of calories. And because it requires so many calories, your brain is constantly looking for a reason to turn itself off, or at least part of itself off to conserve some calories.
Have you ever found yourself in a meeting with someone you know you didn’t like? You probably got through the meeting but did not retain much of what was said. Maybe it felt like you were Charlie Brown and the person you didn’t like sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Words were coming out of your mouth, but all you heard was “Wah, wah, wah.” That would be an example of your brain deciding to conserve calories because you didn’t feel good about the person in the room with you. We tune out when we don’t like where we are, what we are doing, or who we are doing it with.
On the converse side, have you ever found yourself engaged in an interesting lecture or workshop with someone who seemed interesting and engaging? They probably did something to engage your brain right away. Maybe they asked you a question or started telling a story. They held your interest. Your brain decided you like them. You paid attention and probably even participated. You left the workshop feeling productive. You learned something new, retained it, and are inspired to do something with it. This is an example of your Limbic System deciding you feel good about your situation and who it involves, and so it allows the data to be processed and influence future experiences.
#leadershipdevelopment
#activelistening
#likeability