Have you ever torn your clothes? I have. Many times.

As a kid, I grew up on Long Island, New York, in a town called Hicksville. Let me just say, there was nothing hick about Hicksville. We lived in a neighborhood with houses close together, small backyards, and several fences.

We played games that involved running from yard to yard, hopping fences, and trying to avoid getting caught by neighbors who, for some strange reason, did not want a herd of children sprinting through their backyards.

Every now and then, one of those fences would catch my shirt or pants, leaving tears and holes. I would come home with a new hole in my clothes and a very obvious explanation written all over me. My mother was not pleased.

The torn clothes were a dead giveaway. They told the story before I had a chance to offer any defense.

Then there was the time I tried to impress a girl.

I was in first grade. She was in third grade, which obviously made her sophisticated, mature, and far out of my league. A group of us were playing in her basement, where she had a wooden playhouse with a slanted roof. We had been told very clearly that we were not allowed to slide down the roof.

So, naturally, I decided this was my moment. I was going to show this third-grade dream girl that I was bold and brave. A first-grade rebel with a future.

I climbed up, slid down the roof, and immediately discovered why the rule existed. There were small nails on that roof. One of them caught my pants and ripped a large hole in them.

Suddenly, I was standing in front of the girl I wanted to impress, and the world, with my bright orange Underoos on full display. There was no hiding what had happened. The hole told the truth, and the unreserved laughter from the rest of the kids in the basement did not help.

What I learned that day, aside from the importance of following basement playhouse safety policies, is that some things reveal the truth before we are ready to admit it.

Leadership works that way, too.

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We can tell ourselves we are good listeners. We can say we are approachable. We can believe we communicate well, handle conflict well, and create a healthy environment for the people around us. But the real evidence is usually visible in the people we lead.

Do people tell us the truth? Do they bring problems early, or do they wait until things are already falling apart? Do they offer ideas freely, or do they hold back because they already know how we will respond?

Do they ask for help, or do they quietly struggle because coming to us feels like more trouble than the original problem? Do they leave conversations feeling understood, or do they leave feeling corrected, dismissed, or managed?

Those are leadership clues as clear as bright orange Underoos.

They reveal what is really happening and how well we are leading. Our tone, patience, assumptions, reactions, and willingness to understand people all leave evidence.

If people are guarded around us, or they only bring us polished answers and safe updates, that tells us something.

This month, we are talking about the visible evidence of leadership. Good leaders recognize and pay attention to that evidence. The best leaders are willing to learn from it and grow.

Tom

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