Leaders are often rewarded for being helpful. Someone brings a problem, and the natural instinct is to step in, offer advice, make a decision, or start fixing whatever appears to be wrong. Experience can make that instinct even stronger because experienced leaders have seen many problems before and usually have an idea of what should happen next.
The danger is moving too quickly.
A leader can invest a great deal of time, energy, and good intention into solving the wrong problem. Even worse, the help itself can create new problems when it gives someone an answer they did not need, takes ownership away from them, or addresses a symptom while the real issue continues underneath.
A better starting point is to ask before acting. When someone brings you a problem, resist the urge to immediately explain what you would do. Ask questions that help you understand what is happening and what the person has already tried. You might ask, “What is making this difficult?” or “What do you think needs to happen next?” A few good questions can reveal whether the person needs your expertise, your authority, additional resources, or simply enough time to think through the situation with someone they trust.
Once you understand the problem, find out what a useful outcome would actually look like. The person sitting across from you may need a decision so a project can move forward. They may need coaching because they are facing something unfamiliar. They may need access to information or resources they cannot get on their own. In another situation, they may already know exactly what to do and simply need reassurance that they have the authority to do it. Understanding the desired outcome helps you offer support that fits the situation instead of automatically reaching for your favorite leadership tool.
Leaders should also pay attention to who needs to own the problem. Helping can easily become taking over, especially when the leader can solve something faster than the person who brought it to them. That may feel efficient in the moment, but repeatedly rescuing people can teach them to bring problems upward instead of developing their own ability to solve them. When possible, help the person think through the problem, identify options, and choose a next step they can own. Your experience still has tremendous value, and sometimes the best use of that experience is helping someone else develop theirs.
Finally, check whether the help actually worked. Leaders often judge their assistance by what they intended to accomplish, while the person receiving it experiences the actual result. A simple follow-up question such as, “Did that give you what you needed?” can tell you a great deal. It may confirm that your support was useful, or it may reveal that the person still needs something different. Either answer helps you become a better leader.
Helping well requires attention. Before you start solving, make sure you understand the problem, the outcome the person needs, and the role they should continue to own. Then pay attention to what happens afterward.
Good intentions and hard work have far greater value when the help you provide is the help someone actually needs.
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