Last weekend, Erica and I dropped Parker off at college in Tennessee.
I knew the day was coming. We had talked about it, planned for it, packed for it, prayed over it, and watched it get closer on the calendar. I understood, in theory, that our oldest child was going to college.
Then we actually dropped him off. That was different.
It was more emotional than I expected. I felt happy and sad at the same time, which is a strange combination to carry around in your chest. I was excited for his new adventures, new friends, new experiences, and all God has ahead for him. At the same time, I was dealing with the change in our family proximity. That phrase sounds very calm and clinical, so let me say it more honestly. My son now lives in another state, and I do not love that part yet.
Erica felt it deeply too. She said it was one of the toughest things she has ever had to do as a parent. Her mom told her, “You’ll feel like you left a piece of your heart in Tennessee.”
That is exactly what it felt like.
We had a special weekend together as a family. We helped him settle in. We saw him start making friends, exploring, and having fun. All of that made me proud. It also made the goodbye harder, because we could see that he was ready.
That is the tricky part.
This day came because of good things. Parker made good decisions. Erica and I made decisions over the years that helped prepare him. God blessed him and blessed us. We didn’t get here because something went wrong. We got here because so many things have gone right.
But it still hurt.
I was talking with my dad, and he reminded me that nothing could really prepare me for everything I felt the day Parker was born. You can read books, ask questions, hear stories, and think you understand what becoming a parent will feel like. Then the baby arrives, and you realize some moments can only be understood through experience.
College drop-off was another one of those moments.
Leadership has moments like that too. Sometimes change is painful because something has gone wrong. Other times change is painful because someone has grown, a goal has been reached, or a new season has arrived. A team member gets promoted. A business expands. A role changes. A season ends because it was completed, not because it failed.
Those moments require maturity. They ask us to be grateful and honest at the same time. They ask us to celebrate what is ahead while admitting that something familiar has changed.
Good leadership prepares people for what comes next. It also gives people room to feel the weight of the transition.
This month, we are talking about good change. The kind that comes from growth, blessing, preparation, and right decisions. The kind of change still asks something of us emotionally, and it can still hurt.
Parker is where he is supposed to be. I believe that. I am proud of him, and I am excited for him. I cannot wait to hear all about what God does in his life this year.
And yes, Erica’s mom is right. Part of my heart is in Tennessee.
Tom
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