Early in my ministry years, I worked with teenagers in Appalachia. Let’s just say it plainly. Most of those kids came from very little. They were poor. Yet they were some of the most wonderful, hardworking young people I had ever met.
If something needed to be done around the church, they showed up without complaint or hesitation. If chairs needed to be moved or tables needed to be stacked, they were in. They were ready, willing, and excited to help clean up after events.
A few years later, I moved to Tampa and began working with teenagers from much wealthier families. Understandably, they had very different assumptions about how life works. One day, I asked a few of them to help move a pool table. They looked at me like I had just asked them to rebuild the Roman Empire. They not only refused but also proceeded to ask their parents to move the pool table for them. I was stunned.
Later, in a candid moment with my senior pastor, I admitted that I was struggling to adapt to the attitudes of these more affluent kids and their very different set of values. Of course, I did adapt. I grew to love those kids, and I got to be a part of some of the best times in their lives.
Imagine my shock when, six years later, a senior pastor casually mentioned that I “struggle with affluent kids.”
Six years.
I had adapted and changed, just as anyone does over time. I had grown to love those students deeply. We built strong relationships and did meaningful work together. But that one early comment had stuck. It had become a label.
Labels are powerful. Sometimes we label people without even thinking about it. But once we’ve attached a label to someone, they tend to stick. They become a part of how that person is thought of and judged, usually unfairly.
The truth is, I struggled for a season. But that season did not define me. And, while I had strong opinions about the work ethic of those students, they did not deserve to be reduced to a label either.
We have to be careful, as leaders. It is easy to label a team member as difficult, unmotivated, or entitled. But people are typically more complex than our first impressions and more capable than we often assume.
Leadership requires patience with people and the humility to admit that our early assessments are often incomplete.
This month, we are talking about the problem with labels. They are easy to apply and hard to remove. And when we are careless with them, they shape reputations in ways that are unfair and limiting.
I believe we have a responsibility to see people for who they are and who they are capable of becoming, not just the shortcut description we once attached to them.
Tom
#leadershipdevelopment #labeling #assumptions